Instability
by Loki Yamimegami
Summary: What went through Terra's mind after Betrayed the Titans? This is a one-shot song fic on how I feel she dealt with it. Terra has feelings for BB. RR Ples! (Song: Lacuna Coil's Heaven's A Lie)


A/N This is a one shot song-fic, I had this idea plaguing me for a while now. One shot, sorry, I have enough discontinued chapter sagas to finish. This is a little ficlet taking place possibly sometime between Betrayal and Aftershock.

This is a sort of insight on how Terra has been handling her... sins since betrayal. It's a little deep and shows signs that she may be a tad bit... crazy?

I was fair though. I don't think I did any damage to Terra's character.

Disclaimer: I do not own Terra, Slade, nor the Teen Titans. I do not own the rights to them or the song: Heaven's A Lie by Lacuna Coil

((Song lyrics))

((Oh no, Here it is again I need to know When I will fall in decay ))

She curled up and stared into her reflection, staring off into it...through it.

How hollow she had become. How heartless and cruel. How miserable she felt, over and over again falling into a cycle of numbness then extreme pain and sorrow.

Guilt. It tore through her. Tore her in two. In three....in so many shards of herself.

She wept, covering her face.

((Something wrong

With every plan of my life

I didn't really notice that you've been here ))

The blonde touched the mirror softly, tears falling. Her violet eyes widened as, in the reflection, she could see a shadow... a profile of someone... familiar. Behind her...

Everything she ever wanted.... Gone.

She wanted only to help. Only to seek justice. She never wanted this... to betray, destroy, deceive, demolish...

((Dolefully desired

Destiny of a lie ))

She had been so desolated and distraught...

Could she have ever realized, if she could just see past her own pain...

A hand? Was that a hand reaching out to her?

((Set me free

Your heaven's lie

Set me free with you love

Set me free ))

Vaguely she remembers... one hand.... Slade, his caress on her cheek as he placed the butterfly pin back upon her hair.

He offered her control... he offered her protection....

She was deceived. He lied!

She turned away from the reflection to see no one behind her...no one in the doorway.

It was all a lie.

She was miserable and he could not care for all the life in her. Why did she allow herself to be manipulated so?

No... Stop it, Terra! There's no turning back... you did what you have done...

There's no changing the past.

((Oh no,

Here it is again

I need to know

Why did I choose to betray you ))

Why did she betray them? Him?...

She loves Beast Boy. Loved. Loved... her heart was gone now.

No way to love... without a heart.

((Something wrong

With all the plans of my life

I didn't realize that you've been here ))

She sat in silence for a long time, just breathing, staring. Guilt can destroy a person's mind. And it was killing her

She trembled, holding herself as memories flickered in the mirror. The visions flashed vaguely against her reflection which had a half missing. At least to her it did. There were flashes of fun times, relaxing and comfortable times....

Yet to any other... there was just a mirror.

Then a vision of Beast Boy.. standing behind her... placing a hand on her shoulder. She trembled, she could almost... feel the warmth of his hand, the warmth in his bright emerald eyes... adoring her...

"Beast Boy?" she asked brokenly.

She exhaled and sobbed as she wheeled around to throw herself into his arms. But fell, no one there. She fell hard against the floor.

((Dolefully desired

Destiny of a lie ))

She slammed her fists on the ground and cried out. The foundation shuddered and the ground trembled.

Her cry was so loud... so sharp...and full of resentment and pain.

She cried out his name.... cried out for him... for his warmth and comfort and understanding. She was so cold and alone. Yet still, she cried out with all her might.

((Set me free

Your heaven's lie

Set me free with you love

Set me free ))

She cried out until her voice was hoarse and she could cry out no longer, half of the building she dwelled in destroyed in the almighty wrath of her power. She laid pallid on the cold floor as the shards of the mirror laid about her.

She laid, staring blankly as the mirror crashed about her.

Destroyed. As she was. She breathed hollowly.

"I'm sorry...." she mouthed, closing her eyes.

She heard a rustle in the debris... foot steps. She opened her weary eyes and hope flickered "Beast Boy?'' she whispered with her worn hoarse voice.

She stared at the vague figure approaching her. Her diluted gaze widened, tears over flowing.

Beast Boy... you came for me... you missed me... Im so sorry! She trembled with anticipation. He was here....

((Set me free your heaven's lie

Set me free with you love ))

She gasped as a firm slap struck her across the face. "Apprentice, such weakness.... such lack of control is not acceptable." he hissed.

Terra curled away, shunning form him.

No! No! You're suppose to be him... him who I love. He who will save me...

Save me from myself....

She sobbed. "Slade...." she sobbed, hoarse voice rich with emotion.

"Enough... this is sickening. Clean yourself up and get yourself together." he demanded indifferently. She sobbed again. He sighed and knelt before her, touching her face and making her face him.

"Look at what's happening to you, Terra... They caused you so much pain.... " he whispered, his hypnotic voice entrancing her. She stared, doe eyed at him.

"No...no... I...I caused-"

"No, you only did what they deserved, Terra... They betrayed you. Worst.... they never trusted you. What's done is done, my precious apprentice. Now, stand at my side... and help me finish what we started. Me and you."

"Together."

She breathed, trembling. She licked her lips and nodded. She closed her eyes, tilting her head forward, her hair slipping forward and curtaining half of her face.

"I need you... and you need me." He whispered. she nodded numbly.

"... Together... me and you..." she repeated hollowly. She looked up with cold empty eyes. "I need you... I ... am yours...."

"Mine. My apprentice." he whispered back, satisfied.

((Set me free))

And the rest... is history.

((End))

Odd. Its strange that I wrote this because I'm in fact not very fond of Terra. But I heard this song and I couldn't help it. This mental image of Terra losing her mind over her guilt just stuck.

Well, Review, please.

Aurie 


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